What would you do if...

It's been a long time since I penned a piece here. Thought of resuming after Raya but I am considering this one bizarre incident as a sign that I must blog today. Thus, I will begin with this long hypothetical question.

Location: Public Restroom, Lift Lobby 1, Level 3, TPM

Sekadar Gambar hiasan

What would you do if you were standing at an elevated position in your toilet cubicle and then you peeked into the adjacent cubicle only to find the person next door is aware and staring back at you?

According to the social norm for the community of public toilet creeps and weirdos, the answer is apparently:

• Immediately apologise upon being noticed
• Flush in a rush (hey, it rhymes)
• Leave cubicle in hurry

People nowadays are so unpredictable (or a more suitable word would be weird/creepy).

Haha, in case some of you are thinking 'Sejak bila Amir jadi peeping tom nih?', 'Tau r Amir tu keji tapi dia pervert ker?'...I will clarify further.

On Friday (11/9/2009) at 4.50pm, as I was leaving work, I stopped by the restroom. I went inside one of the cubicles. The time was still early so I took my time. I checked out the toilet paper rolls, looked at the ceiling idly, checked out the cubicle partition down and up...and THAT was when I noticed something out of place. I saw a patch of hair on a head rising out from the next cubicle. Then a pair of eyes followed. He made eye contact with me and his eyes widened in shock. I casually said 'Woi'.
Without delay, he apologized saying 'Sorry'. Then, I heard the sound of flushing and someone scurrying out of the cubicle in a hurry. I found the episode rather amusing.
Heh, I can still afford to find this funny(in a weird sense) because when he peeked over, I was fully dressed and not in a compromising situation. My honor/water face/dignity remains intact. I can still laugh about it.

Plot holes that still baffle me:

• Shouldn't he be peeping in the female toilet? I won't speculate further on this because the potential answer may haunt me in my sleep.

• Shouldn't one flush prior to the process of peeping? In this way, at least the odour will be more tolerable if you wanna peep for a long time.

Weirdo rating:
7/10

Michael Owen is a Red Devil

It's official. Michael Owen has signed for Manchester United. SAF has long been an admirer of Owen. He wanted to sign him in 2005 but was unwilling to pay the GBP 16.5mil demanded by Real Madrid. SAF gets him for free now.
Is this good news for MU fans around the world?

Pros:

• Owen is free
• Relatively low wage compared with other MU players
• Impressive track record for club and country
• Great understanding and interplay with Wayne Rooney for England
• Adds more attacking options for SAF after departure of CR7 and Carlos Tevez

Cons:

• Injury-prone
• Inconsistent form
• Lost a bit of his pace over the years

Well, I reckon SAF needs to get another striker. Honourable mentions include Pato, Torres, Huntelaar and Ibrahimovic. Happy hunting!

Pic taken from Soccernet and Daylife

There's something about HINDRAF

Why do politicians like to twist facts and stir up racial sentiments? Many answers exist for that and can be debatable but what can't be denied is that both sides of the political divide are actually guilty of this flaw. None can take the moral high ground. Seeing this report by Hindraf makes me have the urge to do some mythbusting. These people ought to have carefully researched their 'findings' before publishing them for all the world to see. Some of their points are just so messed up that anyone with common sense and some grey matter can see through them as blatant lies. I'll just highlight 7 points in memory of Manchester United's no. 7, Cristiano Ronaldo who will be moving to Real Madrid (only an act of God can stop him now).
Sighs...why, why, why does DS Anwar Ibrahim support them so relentlessly knowing that they distort their stories?

Excerpts from the report:

1. Kampong Medan “Ethnic Cleansing” of Indians (2001) – 5 Indians killed and a hundred over suffered grevious bodily injuries.
Hindraf places the burden of guilt solely on UMNO and PDRM claiming it was a plan to massacre the Indians in the area. This is just ludicrous. The Kampong Medan incident actually started off with something less sinister than what they have been propagating. This is what Malaysiakini's report had to say about it:

"The whole episode supposedly started with an Indian security guard returning from work at 3am on March 4.

He found a tent erected for a wedding in the middle of the narrow road in Kampung Medan. He grew agitated and started kicking the tables and chairs.

This angered the Malay family that was preparing for the wedding, who rushed out and assaulted him. He fled but returned later with a parang and five other cohorts.

A fight broke out and at one point, the security guard fled to a nearby house, belonging to an Indian family, where a funeral wake was being held..

The group of Malays, who assumed he was a member of the household, then set fire to a car and two motorcycles parked nearby.

This marked the beginning of the bloody clashes, which was further aggravated when an Indian boy, using a slingshot, smashed the windscreen of his neighbour's vehicle.

The angry van owner, an Indian, sought compensation from the children's parents. He was joined by his driver, a Malay, but some villagers who saw the commotion thought that a Malay was threatening the Indians. Rumours began to spread and the rest is history."

2. One Hindu Temple is demolished in every week nation wide in Malaysia.

Mosques and temples have also been demolished. Some of these cases are where the structure didn't have the appropriate licence. Harakah has highlighted cases of mosques and suraus being demolisehd in the past. This should not be turned into a racial issue.

3. 90% of the deaths in police and prison custody victims are Indians.

This is not simply not true. Malays make up the majority of people who died in custody.

"Out of the total 1,583 prisoner fatalities, 1,425 were Malaysians, comprising Malays 898, Chinese 271, Indians 224 and Others 32. The balance of 158 deaths were foreigners, comprising Indonesia 62, Philippines 11, Thailand 43, India 7, Bangladesh 2, China 1 and Others 32."

4. Indians today earn as low as RM13.00 (USD 3.50) per day as plantation Workers.

Chinese/Malay plantation workers also earn roughly the same amount per day.

5. Foreign medical college Degrees from Ukraine, Russia, Romania, India and Indonesia with almost all Malaysian Indian private students suddenly were derecognized by the Malaysian government.

This has nothing to do with race. Many non-Indian students were enrolled in these universities and were affected as well.

6. Government PTPTN study loans and scholarships denied to Indians studying medicine, law, engineering etc in overseas.

People, PTPTN does not offer loans for study in overseas.

"The PTPTN Education Loan Scheme was set up with the aim of providing education loans to students pursuing their studies in local institutions of higher learning (IPT).
This loan will enable students to fully or partially pay their fees and their subsistence for the duration of their study in the IPT. Thus, this scheme provides greater opportunities to students to continue their tertiary education.

The scope of the PTPTN education loan facility is open to students pursuing studies at the diploma, first degree, master, doctorate and professional courses levels in IPTs established under the following acts:

• Universities and Universities Colleges Act 1971

• Institut Teknologi MARA Act 1976

• Private Higher Education Institutions Act 1996

• Education Act 1996 "
  

7. Almost all the above Tamil schools are all in cowshed like pre war structures.

Do you honestly believe this statement???


References

Hindraf Report
Remembering Kampung Medan: one year after (Malaysiakini)
358 "judicial hangings" from 1980 to Sept. 2004 (DAPMalaysia)
PTPTN - Loans

Silat in Malaysia (Pt. 1)

As there are tonnes of football clubs in England (from Man United to Kettering Town), there are also hundreds of Silat styles in Malaysia. Similar to the BPL, the Silat community in Malaysia would also have its own Big Four. These four are the Pertubuhan Seni Silat Gayong Malaysia (PSSGM), Pertubuhan Seni Silat Lincah Malaysia (PSSLM), Pertubuhan Seni Gayung Fatani Malaysia(PSGFM) and Pertubuhan Seni Silat Cekak Malaysia(PSSCM). These four groups commands the lion's share of penetration in teaching at primary, secondary and tertiary institues of education.
In addition to the Big Four, we also have a lot of Evertons and Aston Villas of Silat like Pertubuhan Silat Kegayongan (Acheh) Helang Putih (PSK(A)HP), Istiadat Pewaris Penjurit-Kepetangan Melayu (IPPM), Persatuan Seni Silat Kuntau Tekpi Malaysia (PSSKTM) and Pertubuhan Seni Silat Sendeng Malaysia (PSSSM).

Let's begin with Gayong Malaysia. This is probably the most famous Silat style in Malaysia. Whenever a person unfamiliar with Silat knows I learn Silat, he will ask whether I learn Gayong. Ermm...there are hundreds of Silat styles in Malaysia alone, people.

Well, luckily since the Silat documentary disaster (read as Human Weapon), these people have expanded their vocabularies. Now their question is more like

'You learn Gayong, Harimau, Lok 9 or Lian Padukan?'

Well, at least that's still an improvement.

PSSGM has a long and proud history. It is the first martial arts association to be registered in Malaysia. It was founded by the legendary Dato' Meor Abdul Rahman (pic). The art covers unarmed combat as well as use of traditional Malay weapons.

The syllabus roughly comprises:

1. Tapak Gayong (foundation, teaches fighting stances, basic blocks and parries)
2. Seni Tapak Gayong (advanced form of the foundation)
3. Seni Keris (techniques using small weapons i.e. knife and keris (traditional Malay dagger)
4. Seni Simbat (techniques using long weapons i.e. spear, staff, machete)
5. Seni Yoi (employs trickery and craft, advanced fighting techniques and tips)
6. Seni Cindai (technique using a woman's headscarf, belt, etc.)
7. Seni Belian (spiritual)

Majid Mat Isa demonstrating a Cindai technique

Even though PSSGM is larger and more established, the individual Masters in the sister organization, Pertubuhan Seni Silat Pusaka Gayong Malaysia (PSSPGM) are more famous. PSSPGM has more household names like Majid Mat Isa and Awang Daud as compared to PSSGM.
For more information on the art, go to the Gayong portal.

Awang Daud

Crap...am getting dizzy with all these acronyms.

Picture Credits
Pusaka Gayong
Persatuan Seni Silat Pusaka Gayong Malaysia UM
Promninence world of Penjurit-Kepetangan

Wishlist for 2009/10 Season (Manchester United)

Season's over with the conclusion of the FA Cup. Man Utd did ok for the season, I guess. Winning the Club World Cup, Community Shield, Carling Cup and Premier League can be considered as a good season already. These are players I hope Man Utd will have playing for them next season (of course, it will not happen but it's ok to dream once in a while).

Iker Casillas (Real Madrid, Goalkeeper)
Birth Place: Madrid, Spain
Height: 1.85m
Age: 28 (1981)

Iker is in top 3 for best goalie in the world in my books. He is Real Madrid's saviour in many games. The opposition's attacking force have to be really good to breach the post when San Iker is on form. His commanding of the defence may be open to criticism but his agility and shot-stopping is still one of the best. Real Madrid would have conceded 7-8 goals that day at Anfield if it weren't for Iker. With Van der Sar leaving and Ben Foster still not ready yet, Iker would be a good choice between the sticks.

Honourable mentions: Gianluigi Buffon (Juventus), Julio Cesar (Inter Milan)

Michael Essien (Chelsea, Midfielder)
Birth Place: Accra, Ghana
Height: 1.80m
Age: 26 (1982)

This guy is a steamroller in midfield. He is a very physical player, powerful and plays with a lot of energy. He kept Stevie G out of the game and in his pocket during the first leg of CL at Anfield. He is also a versatile player. He can perform the Makelele role, support the attack as well as play rightback.The only ones MU have at the moment that comes close to him is Owen Hargreaves (recovering from long-term injury) and Darren Fletcher (not as aggressive as Essien).

Honourable mentions: Gennaro Gattuso (AC Milan), Lasssana Diarra (Real Madrid)

Steven Gerrard (Liverpool, Midfielder)
Birth Place: Whiston, Merseyside
Height: 1.85m
Age: 29 (1980)

Hailed by some to be the best midfielder in the world. I find him to be a complete footballer. He has good vision when attacking and he tracks back to help defend. He's got speed, intensity and he is the main force behind LFC's title chase in 2008/09 (it wasn't Torres). His talismanic character was highlighted during the CL final in Istanbul where he scored the first of Liverpool's(against the run of play?) goals which turned the game on its head. He also scored the last-minute thunderbolt against West Ham in the FA Cup Final the next season. He can walk into the first XI of any team at the moment.

Honourable mentions: Frank Lampard (Chelsea), Rafael Van der Vaart (Real Madrid), Andres Iniesta (Barcelona)


Image Credits
Telegraph UK
The Sun UK
BBC UK

Silat vs. Hapkido

Picture Credits

Wikipedia
Penjuritan

"I have not failed 700 times, I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving those 700 ways will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work"
~ Thomas Edison

Aku seorang ahli politik...

Kata2 ku telah diputar seperti mana ucapan Nik Aziz/Dr. M kena putar (spin)/quoted out of context....Haha, takpe. Kita lihat jer lah 31hb nanti.

Hypocrisy

Hypocrisy [hi-pok-ruh-see]

–noun, plural -sies.
1. a pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc., that one does not really possess.
2. a pretense of having some desirable or publicly approved attitude.
3. an act or instance of hypocrisy.

Yes, hypocrisy a.k.a nifaq. This is a trait that people in my previous entry would definitely possess. Degree of hypocrisy differs from person to person and the severity of the misdeed, of course. He can be an ustaz who gives ceramah and lectures that cleanliness is important in Islam but won't try to keep the public toilet clean and presentable after using it. She can be a mother who lectures her son (who just got his driving license) not to drive recklessly but may just turn out to be the one behind the wheel of the white Suzuki Swift tailgating me at 120 km/h at TTDI Plaza last week. She can also be a primary school teacher who teaches her kids to line up and queue at the canteen but she may also be the one who cut my queue while buying popia basah at the pasar malam last Sunday.
Hypocrites are all around us. I admit I am also hypocritical at times but hey, at least I am aware of it and I don't try to boast an Islamic, high and mighty image of myself. There are too many instances of hypocrisy in this world. I'll just highlight three annoying ones for today.

• Female hosts on Astro Oasis

If any of you are not familiar with it (memang frog under coconut shell r korang nih), Oasis is the Islamic-themed channel provided by Astro. The tiff I have with this channel is that the hosts are obligated to wear tudung and at the same time, Astro wants to capitalise on the popularity of the products of their famed Akademi Fantasia(AF). Examples that come to mind include Farah AF2 of Rasa Halal Orient and Noni AF5 in Cafe Akhil Hayy.

Farah AF2

So you end up watching Farah talking about halal food in Taiwan (Rasa Halal Orient), ad comes in, you change the channel to Astro Ria...she is there tudung-less dancing and singing. This entry is not made to condemn the dancing/singing but the selection practice of Astro.In the end, the tudung is consigned to being just another fashion accessory that can be taken on and off, and its religious standing is compromised. The AF stars like Farah and Noni are then labelled by munafiq/hypocrites by some.
Why not just hire hosts that wear tudung fulltime? These people might not be as popular but since most of the viewers of Astro Oasis are the religious, "thou shall not watch AF" type...it probably wouldn't matter much to them.

• Vernacular Schools vs National Schools (One school concept)

Annoying. I reserve this for some of Malaysia Today's (MT) commentators. They argue that there is not enough integration between the races in Malaysia. They call for a united Malaysian Malaysia where people should identify themselves as Malaysians and not whether you are Malay, Indian or Chinese.
And then when a person proposes to abolish vernacular schools and everyone should go to only one type of school, these people get into a frenzy saying it is their constitutional right to have vernacular schools. They start citing Penyata Razak, Penyata Rahman Talib and whatnot. Whatever happened to the spirit of not being racial and just be Malaysian that they were championing? These commentators who went berserk would start acting childish, call people names and spew out vitriolic racist remarks. Cool Down!
Children start socialising at primary school level or lower. Hence, having a one school system is one of many ways to have them mingle together at a young and impressionable age. If one objects to the said proposal, just point out your agruments in a civilised manner. No need to get into a fit.

• Comparing Malaysia to Singapore

This is also a popular theme among many MT commentators. They always cite Singapore as their utopia and model nation for Malaysia.

'Singapore is heaven.'
'Singapore has no corruption.'
'Dr M will never measure up to LKY.'
'Singapore has no racism.'

Erkkk, this is selective myopia at its worst. Crap, this is even worse than Arsenal's Arsene Wenger. It can't be denied that Singapore has a stronger economy than Malaysia but these commentators conveniently leave out certain facts. The truth is Singapore's media restrictions are more rigid and strict compared to Malaysia. Their media is state-controlled and regulated.
The opposition is also curtailed in many ways by methods of voters/territory splitting, libel suits and whatnot. If you want stats, Malaysia is ranked at 81 while Singapore is worse off at 84 in The Economist's Democracy Index. Racism, corruption and abuse of power do occur in Singapore. I won't elaborate on this matter. You can read more/find stats from the links given. In particular, the one from Rocky Bru is worthy of 10 minutes of your time. The gist is...selective myopia is a form of hypocrisy. Malaysia and Singapore have more in common than you think.

Singapore Election Watch (blog)
Secret Political Blog
List of indices of Freedom (wikipedia)
Article in Rocky Bru
Article in Online Citizen

References:

Dictionary.com: Hypocrisy
Dasar Pendidikan Negara
Picture (Farah AF2) grabbed from artismelayu.net

5 species manusia sengal di Malaysia

Aku tension sungguh dengan beberapa species manusia yang berlegar di muka bumi Allah ini. Kehadiran mereka dalam hidup ini seringkali membuat aku mencarut samada zahir atau batin (a$@#$R).

1. Manusia yang memandu dengan lambat di lane laju (lane paling kanan) di highway/jalan besar: Species ini memang banyak sungguh di Malaysia. Kalau dia drive kat residential area, jalan2 kecil tu tak kisah tapi ini highway kot. Takkan lane laju kat highway PLUS nak drive 60 km/j. Tak cukup dengan itu, bas/lori yang lembab dan panjang pun nak ambik lane laju juga. Dah tahu dia besar, guna jer lah lane belah kiri atau lane tengah.
   
2. Manusia yang memandu sungguh laju kat jalan2 kecil: Species ini pulak opposite of species nombor 1. Time kat residential area/jalan2 kecil....dia nak pergi laju gak. Orang dah drive reasonably fast (90-100 km/j untuk jalan sempit kira laju tuh) pun dia nak tailgate gak. Normally kalau orang tailgate aku dalam situasi begini, aku akan drive lagi slow.
   
3. Manusia yang suka mencilok masuk lane orang time lane dia bergerak lambat: Species ini suka tukar lane bila lane dia bergerak lambat. Kalau dia bagi signal, normally aku akan bagi dia masuk lane tapi kalau dia tak bagi, sori r bro....Wait your turn. Semua orang pun nak balik rumah gak.
   
4. Manusia yang potong queue di pasar malam: Pasar malam merupakan tempat kunjungan ramai jadi memang lar dia crowded. Bila dah nampak ada queue panjang kat stall, pandai2 lar queue. Jangan nak gi potong macam tuh jer. Penjaga stall pun kena pandai2 r jangan layan orang itu dan suruh dia queue. Tapi dia layan jugak orang tu dulu. Dua2 tak boleh harap.
5. Manusia yang lepak minum cendol/hisap rokok time khatib berkhutbah: Yang species 1-4 itu menyusahkan orang jer...tak disebut secara specific dalam Islam. Species ke-5 ni memang ada special mention dalam Quran. Patutnya, time khutbah Jumaat...orang dah kena duduk dalam masjid dengar khutbah. Peniaga2 pun tak reti2 gak. Time khatib dah nak bagi khutbah, hentikan lar aktiviti perniagaan kamu itu.

   'Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Apabila diserukan azan (bang) untuk mengerjakan sembahyang pada hari Jumaat, maka segeralah kamu pergi (ke masjid) untuk mengingati Allah (dengan mengerjakan sembahyang jumaat) dan tinggalkanlah berjual-beli (pada saat itu); yang demikian adalah baik bagi kamu, jika kamu mengetahui (hakikat yang sebenarnya)' (62:9)

Banyak lagi jenis species manusia sengal nih sebenarnya. Species2 lain akan dihuraikan lain kali . Enough ranting for today.

FA Cup Final (April 25,2009)

FA Cup Final - Kelantan VS Selangor
Venue: National Stadium, Bukit Jalil
Kick-off time: 25th April 2009, 8.45 PM

'Selangor held their nerves to win their fith FA Cup title 4-1 on penalties after a 1-1 draw with Kelantan after 120 minutes at the National Stadium in Bukit Jalil yesterday.' -NST

'LAWA DOH.LAWA DOH.' - Kelantan supporters

'Inilah barisan kita,Yang ikhlas berjuang. Siap sedia berkorban, Untuk ibu pertiwi!' - Selangor supporters

'Takpe...dah 40 tahun tunggu...tahun depan Kelantan menang r' - Mja on the loss and Kelantan's 40-year trophy drought

'Haha...alasan semata-mata' - Amir on the above statement

'Fuck you...BITCH!' - Numa getting back at Kelantan supporters after Selangor equalised in the 101st minute

Pictures

Kelantan fans

Tan Sri Khalid Ibrahim and Azmin among the VVIPs
Not just FRU involved...The FBI is also
in the house.


No empty seats in the Kelantan section

Selangor supporters make sure they are not outnumbered.

and the new FA Cup champions, Selangor with Tan Sri Khalid Ibrahim and Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim...